It's a great song!
Joe Jackson has a timeless catchy tune with that one. That's not what this is about though. This is about me and stepping out of the accessibility space and time for a change.
It's been a bit. I've been thinking about this and where I want to go moving forward in the next few months, that's not in the direction that I am currently in. It's a total "back to square one" type thing. Back to where I was over forty years ago when I first sat in front of a Commodore PET 2001 Series computer and wondered how this screen was taking information from a cassette tape and making a game appear on the screen.
The last couple of days has solidified that I am making the right call. I want that nine year old kid I used to be back. The passion, the fire, the curiosity. I need that. I want that.
Burn Out
It is also about burn out. I am trying to get out of that hole currently and it seems every time I make progress, something or someone comes out of the weeds and throws a wrench into the works. It's time for change. Which means it is time for me to leave accessibility. Not advocacy, but the work. I can't do it anymore. It's Sisyphean at this point for me. no matter how much time I take off.
I'm no longer interested in auditing or remediation. I have done too much of it the past decade, too much of it, and I am out of gas. I am beyond exhausted.
Now What?
I have some irons in the fire. Make it known I am set on getting a job in Developer Relations or Developer Experience. I have my goal set on one company that I have been engrossed in their documentation for a few months now. I have my resume out and some interviews have been had, but my goal.
That goal is where I want to be in a few months. Because I know that I can excel at it, I know I'd be good at it, and I know the 12 year old Todd who would pull all-nighters and study code and read computer books, manuals, magazines, take apart computers and put them back together again, I know that kid would be back and the curiosity will return which drove the fire under me.
It isn't up to me to decide, that's not in my control. My control lies in how I get there and present myself.
I want to be able to read minds, but at this point, I need to not overthink it. The way I am made up though, I overthink as good as the best of the rest.
Fin
I hope to have a better picture in July as to where I am and what I am doing because right now, I'm a bit lost. I can admit it. I don't feel like I have a home. I have a speaker family and I have a great group of friends that support me, but I am a bit cut off from where I want to be.
I hope to get there and report back soon. Send some positive vibes this way, I could sure use them.