Well now
I was all set to disappear like Homer Simpson into the bushes and call it a career but life likes to throw curveballs and nasty sliders. So here I am, back again. Writing.
I decided that retirement was the only option back a few months ago. January, I believe. I had wrapped up a huge project and I was not feeling it when it came to being hired. Still don't, but I'll address that shortly.
I had been doing accessibility auditing and remediation for five years solid. Professionally, nothing diverting myself to stay fresh and avoid burnout. It was just audit after audit after audit. I burnt out. Throw a few more things professionally and in real life on top of that and I was burnt to a crisp.
Life happens
Life has a funny (and sometimes messed up) way of throwing things at you when you aren't looking. So with that said, circumstances notwithstanding, I am back. I have been for a couple months now. The time off has given me a lot of clarity that I hadn't had before. That being more self-worth, self-awareness, and not selling myself short any longer.
Things happen which bring us to back track and I have had to back track. Not without some really garbage things happening though.
Tech hiring. The worst. Ghostings, robo-rejections, the same old, same old we see from a broken system.
The world burning around us. Not an interest in the negative that is all over the internet.
Health. Physical, mental, and trying to juggle real life in between taking care of myself and others.
My time. While it has opened up a lot from me clearing my plate off and only taking part in some W3C activities, my time is wrapped up in trying to find work so I can support the household.
The options
I'm a little shunned in the accessibility community because of my vocal opposition to people being bullies that are supposed to be experts and whom should guide people and not emasculate or eviscerate others for the things they say, write, or do when it comes to accessibility. That part is fine, it just reinforces my stance that the accessibility community, while for the most part, being inclusive and welcoming and helpful, has a subset of a few people that just want to be standoffish pricks.
That got unfollows and gasps from the crowd but I got into accessibility to be the voice of people in my family and close knit circle of friends that did not have a voice. Those people were and are the reasons I have for doing what I did. Whether or not people like me is none of my business and I prefer it that way. I don't think about it, them, or how to win friends and influence people.
So accessibility for me is just advocacy. No more auditing. I deserve better and after 25 years and learning from the best people, I deserve more. I doubt I'll ever be presented with anything at this point in life. 53 years old and searching for a lead role or higher is not in my sights.
So I made a move.
Java you say
Yes, Java.
I am re-learning Java and having fun doing it. I am having a great time reading and coding. Actually going back to my roots in programming and getting it done. I am rusty. Very rusty, but the fact that I have learned multiple programming languages in the past only makes me realize I can still do it and still learn on the fly. That is someething I will talk about in another post later.
Java was something I had a love/hate relationship with in the past but now, it is just fun. I look forward to learning now. I look forward to doing it all again.
I’m having fun again. I look forward to opening an editor again and following courses. I enjoy sitting down and doing this again. There’s always the light at the end of the tunnel, sometimes it takes a long time to see it. 🦞 Todd (@toddlibby) — August 2, 2024
Now I'm just glad I am doing it and seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. It is a long tunnel and the road to getting out of burnout is almost at the intersection of burnt out and back to feeling good. Regardless though, it has been a lot of work I had to do and even spawned a conference talk that went great at KCDC.
Now what
That's up to the people that hire. I am looking for engineering/programming/lead role work. I hope to find something fast.
For now, I am just going to keep on writing.